Russia hosted the Eurovision a couple of years ago. They put on a fabulous (and very expensive) show, but it looks like they’ve decided it’s far too costly to ever take the chance of winning again – there surely can’t be any other reason that explains why they picked the truly dreadful Lost and Forgotten by Peter Nalitch, and the equally bad Get You by Alexej Vorobjov this year.

Anyway, what better way is there to celebrate Russia’s decision to never again host Europe’s premier singing contest than to take a run through the YouTube videos of every single Russian Eurovision Song Contest entry – ever! That’s nearly two decades’ worth of top notch Russian Europop – t.A.t.U, Mumy Troll, Alsou, Dima Bilan, Peter Nalitch and now Alexej Vorobjob – we’ve got them all!

No – there’s no need to thank me. Really. No need at all.

2010 – Alexey Vorobyov – Get You – (Place: TBC)

Alexey Vorobyov (also known by the English translation of his name as Alex Sparrow) has tried to win Eurovision Song Contest qualification for a few years now, and with Get You he’s finally made it. Sadly, I’m not sure if the ladies are going to swoon for his dashing good looks or in horror at hearing the song…

2010 – - Lost and Forgotten – (Place: 11th)

Peter Nalitch, some of you will remember is the Russian architect who had a massive viral hit in 2007 with his cheesy song Gitar. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Peter Nalitch Eurovision video ‘Lost and Forgotten’, possibly the dullest, sleepiest ballad to grace Eurovision since, well, since last year probably.

2009 – Anastasia Prikhodko – Mamo – (11th)

Mamo, Russia’s 2009 Eurovision song has already proved controversial. Sung partly in Ukrainian, by a Ukrainian singer who only entered after she had failed to win the Ukrainian Eurovision contest – what could there possibly be to complain about?

2008 – Dima Bilan – Believe (1st)

Russia’s first Eurovision victory came courtesy of Dima Bilan’s Belive. Already a successful pop star back home in Russia, Dima Bilan won the competition on his second attempt – beating his second place finish in Eurovision 2006.

2007 – Serebro – Song #1 (3rd)

Serebro – which means Silver in Russian – were a previously unknown three girl band. They’ve translated their third place finish in Eurovision 2007 into some limited success in Russia – although it’s taken them until April 2009 to release their first full album.

2006 – Dima Bilan – Never Let You Go (2nd)

Dima’s first stab at Eurovision glory was mostly memorable for his wearing of a white tank top. A true crime against fashion.

2005 – Natalia Podolskaya – Nobody Hurt No One (15th)

A rockin’ little anti-American anti war ditty (Hello sweet America / Where did our dream disappear? / Look at little Erica / All she learns today is the fear”). About the best that can be said is that it inspired Russia to take the contest seriously again the following year.

2004 – Yulia Savicheva – Belive Me (11th)

Possibly Russia’s dullest Eurovision entry. Nuff said.

2003 – t.A.t.U – Ne ver’, ne boisya, ne prosi (3rd – robbed!)

Russia’s most controversial (and best publicised) Eurovision effort by far. All you need to know is that controversy kicked off with a formal enquiry to the Eurovision board ahead of the contest that asked whether performers had to wear clothes, and finished with claims that the faux-lesbian duo, who were beaten by just three points, had been robbed by “unlikely low points” given by other countries.

2002 – Prime Minister – Northern Girl (10th)

Another one of those dull songs that Eurovision throws up from time to time. Take my advice, and don’t waste your time listening.

2001 – Mumiy Troll – Lady Alpine Blue (12th)

Russia took the brave decision in 2001 to send rock band Mumiy Troll to Europe’s premier pop song contest. The veteran rock band were formed back in 1983 (so far back into Soviet history that Gorbachev wasn’t even the boss) and, although I like the song, I don’t think it’s a moment they’ll consider their finest…

2000 – Alsou – Solo (2nd)

After the 1998-99 debacle (see ‘interlude’ below) Russia decided to get serious and send a real contender to the 2000 contest. Alsou’s Solo hit all the Eurovision buttons – sexy lady in skimpy costume, catchy tune, sung in English – and was unfortunate not to pull off Russia’s first victory. It had the misfortune to come up against that rarest of things – a decent ballad from Denmark that stormed to victory.

Alsou, by the way, will be hosting the 2009 Eurovision contest in Moscow.

Interlude: 1998-1999

Russia selected Tatyana Ovsienko as their entrant for the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest, only to be informed that, because they’d been so rubbish over the past few years – also called having a low average score – they weren’t eligible to actually send an entrant.

Naturally, Russian TV channel ORT decided – on the entirely sensible grounds that no-one in Russia would watch a four hour song contest if no-one from Russia was singing – not to show the contest live.

Fatal mistake.

Russia would have been able to send an entrant to the following contest, in 1999, but because they’d failed to televise the 1998 contest, under Eurovision’s rules, Russia was barred from sending an entry.

Lesson learned, Russia duly televised the 1999 contest, even though there wasn’t a Russian entrant.

1997 – Alla Pugachova – Primadonna (15th)

Alla Pugachova is one of the true survivors of Soviet music. An icon in Russia, she was the last artist to win the prized “People’s Artist of the USSR” award.

Unsurprisingly, the rest of Europe were not impressed by this hearty ballad.

1996 – Andrei Kosinskiy – I am what I am (did not qualify for final)

For the second time in three years, Russia failed to make it to the final. Here’s the video anyway – Michael Bolton eat your heart out.

1995 – Philip Kirkorov – Lullaby for a Volcano (17th)

Apparently, according to a Eurovision historian (yes, there are such things), Kikorov’s entry is most interesting because Russian TV implied that he had won by ending transmission after his performance and not bothering to show the voting. In reality, Lullaby for a Volcano finished a disappointing 17th out of 23.

1994 – Youdipph – Vechni Strannik (9th)

Russia’s first Eurovision entry also marked the first time that a Eurovision song had been sung in Russian.

A solid if unspectacular debut, Wikipedia regards it as being notable for the red cape worn by singer Maria Kats. I have to say, it is very cool – she looks like a kind of Soviet Batman…

Note: This post is a rewritten version of a post from 2007 – which is why you will see some very old comments below.

Every Russian Eurovision video – ever is a post from: Siberian Light

Then you might want to head on down to London auction house Christie’s next Wednesday – as a part of Russian Art Week, they’re holding an auction of valuable Russian artwork.

Arts, books, silverware and icons worth an estimated $74 million are to go under the hammer, and much of the collection is expected to go to wealthy Russians living in London.

Top billing will be given to the Rothschild Faberge Egg, which is expected to sell for a staggering $12-18 million – a record for a Faberge egg. Made in 1902 for the Rothschild family, it was apparently never publicly documented, and has never been seen before in public. According to auctioneer Anthony Philips, the egg is also one of the most unique of Karl Faberge’s eggs:

“There are only two other known Faberge eggs that have a clock in them and also an automaton. When the clock strikes the cock come up, shakes its wings and sings.”

You can see a video of the egg here – I recommend holding out for the end of the video, where the clock is displayed in action.

For more on the history of this beautiful egg, visit Artnow Online.

Rothschild Faberge egg tipped to sell for record price is a post from: Siberian Light

A row seems to be on the verge of starting over a Russian art exhibition in London.

The London Royal Academy of Arts is to host an exhibition of Russian and French masterpieces in January next year, but concerns are growing that the art will be impounded by the courts if anyone brings an case claiming that the Russian government owes them money. Unless they receive explicit guarantees that their paintings will not be seized, a number of Russian museums are threatening to refuse to let their paintings travel to England.

Russian artwork has previously been seized in Switzerland as security against debts, although the paintings were eventually released and handed back to the Russian state.

The British government is – so it says – doing all it can to ensure that the arts aren’t seized. The government has even gone so far as to draft a new law which will specifically prevent works of art loaned to British museums from being seized. The only problem is that the law won’t come into force until shortly after the paintings arrive in London.

Which leaves a brief window of opportunity for anyone who feels that the Russian state owes them money to launch a court case.

Boris Berezovsky, are you reading?

To make matters worse, Vladimir Putin is to visit Britain in January where he is to attend the opening of the exhibition with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Presumably, they also plan to announce that – spy scandals aside – Russia and Britain are really the best of friends. Instead, they might end up in yet another bitter row, sniping at each other over a few pretty old paintings.

If you’re an optimist, by the way, the exhibition – From Russia: French and Russian Master Paintings 1870-1925 -opens at the Royal Academy, London, on January 26.

Row brewing over Russian art exhibition in London is a post from: Siberian Light

A picture of two Russian policemen kissing in a snow-covered Siberian forest – an homage to Banksy’s kissing policemen graffiti – has been banned from appearing in an exhibition of Russian art in Paris.

And all because Russia’s prudish Culture Minister Alexander Sokolov thought that the picture – which according to artists the Blue Noses Collective was inspired by British atist Banksy’s graffiti image of two constables kissing – would bring shame on his country.

A clearly agitated Sokolov told the world’s assembled press:

“If this exhibition appears… it will bring shame on Russia. In this case, all of us will bear full responsibility. It is inadmissible…to take all this pornography, kissing policemen and erotic pictures to Paris.”

Here’s the picture – which, by the way is by the Blue Noses Collective and is called “Kissing Policemen (an Epoch of Clemency)” – take a look and judge for yourselves. Does this image shame Russia?

Probably no more than Banksy’s graffiti art of two kissing constables embarrasses Britain:

If I were Sokolov, I’d buy the kissing policemen photo as quick as I can – if the Blue Noses Collective’s work becomes anything like as popular as Banksy’s art, it’ll be worth an absolute fortune soon. Just ask Angelina Jolie. who has just bought a Banksy painting for a cool $2 million.

Kissing Policemen bring shame to Russia is a post from: Siberian Light

Anzhela Adamova was a young man called Oleg Goncharov, who decided to take part in the beauty contest by joke. He went to a stylist and after that made a portfolio at a professional photographer.

Apparently, Adamova received more than 360 votes before (s)he was outed and disqualified.

Take a look at the photo – can you tell that Anzhela is really Oleg? I tell you what – that’s one hell of a stylist!

Anyway, the results of Miss Virtual Yakutia are available on the official site. Unsurprisingly, Miss Adamova doesn’t seem to be mentioned.

Miss Yakutia finalist was a man is a post from: Siberian Light

Predictably, everyone’s upset, from Ukrainians, who think that she will make Ukraine look silly and recently burnt an effigy of her to make their point, to Russians, who worry that the song’s lyrics:

constitute a direct assault by a wayward neighbour on Moscow itself. At the root of the indignation is a refrain that appears to exhort the audience to sing “Russia goodbye”.

According to Serdyuchka herself, though, its all a big misunderstanding:

His lyrics, he maintains, do not read I want you to sing/Russia goodbye, but I want you to see/Lasha tumbai – which apparently means “churned butter” in Mongolian.

Hmmm – Mongolian lyrics. Another Eurovision first?

Anyway, RFE/RL has a roundup of this year’s Eastern European entries, and you can find a video clip of Serdyuchka in action on the BBC website.

Ukraine picks drag queen for Eurovision – upsets Russians is a post from: Siberian Light

Full size pictures are below the fold:

Angels on the stage

Performers pass right by one of the Trafalgar Lions as they leave the stage.

Watch out for the Russian Bear!

A patriot in the crowd

Members of the Russian Military brass band pose for photos

Posing with the latest recruit

Russian Winter Festival is a post from: Siberian Light

None of the press agencies have quite come out and said it, but they are heavily implying that he was breaking the law by organising ‘parties’ for rich Russians where Russian ‘models’ just happened to be present.

The 30 guests, including about 12 young and leggy Russian women, mixed vodka and cripplingly expensive Chateau Petrus 1972 — sometimes in the same glass — and dined on oysters, foie gras and lobster.

Russia’s Izvestia newspaper quoted a Russian matchmaker to the wealthy who often flies young girls to Courchevel to join the tycoons’ parties. He said they were models, not prostitutes.

“These girls, you see them all the time, they never ski, they walk around Courchevel on high heels,” another frequent visitor to Courchevel told Reuters.

Or, in the words of RIA Novosti, Prokhorov is a “pimp suspect.”

Update, 13 Jan: Rather disappointingly for the scandal-mongers among us, Prokhorov has been released by French authorities without charge although they stress the investigation is still ongoing.

Russia's 8th richest man arrested in "Pimping case" is a post from: Siberian Light

“That is correct, Colonel. Our captain has been taken into custody by what appears to be a Soviet military unit.” Spock barely moved as he spoke. “If my suspicion is correct, they may believe Captain Kirk to be an American espionage agent. If this is so, then his life is in grave danger.”

Steve’s face grew somber. “That would be a pretty fair assumption. Where do you think he was captured?”

“About 67.3km Northeast of Irkutsk,” the Vulcan replied.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “There’s a secret military installation in that area. If your Captain was down there, you have a problem on your hands. What was he doing down there, anyway?”

“We were working on an experiment, there was an error, and Captain Kirk was part of the recovery party sent down to retrieve the experiment.” Spock was determined to give Steve as much information as he could without telling him anything.

Now, if I were a Star Trek fan-fiction writer (which I am not), or even Mr Spock (which I am also not) I’d be taking this opportunity to make the most of Ensign Pavel Chekov. He is, after all, a Russian and, presumably, speaks a little of the local lingo. But, does he appear in this story? Ummm, no.

Update: Goodness, I almost forgot to mention – the Steve mentioned above is Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man. So, we have a Star Trek / Six Million Dollar Man / Soviet Union crossover. At least, I assume it’s the Six Million Dollar Steve Austin, and not the guy from WWF – because that would be just too wierd.

Captain Kirk in Irkutsk is a post from: Siberian Light

So I asked the old half-deaf biddy in the second hand bookshop if she had any books by Solzhenitsyn.
“Soldier Nixon, I don’t think so. Are they crime or thrillers or what ?”
Brushing aside the concept that Stalinist era oppression might have been a crime against humanity, I said,”No, SOLZHENITSYN”.
“Oh, Soldier Nitsyn ! No I don’t think we’ve got any. How do you spell that ?”
At which point I pretty much gave in.

I guess you’ve just got to accept that some battles just aren’t worth fighting any more…

Solider Nixon is a post from: Siberian Light