Do you have a ‘Big Russian Soul’?

I’m embarrassed to say that I took the test, and I most definitely do not have a Big Russian Soul.

Your so-called "soul" earned 0 out of five troika matreshki.

You are utterly devoid of Russian soul. You are so far removed from my Russian nature that I’m surprised you can even understand me when I speak English to you. I pity you.

Oh dear.  And I have the nerve to say I know a little about Russia?  How deluded I must be…

I am, however, 60% of the way towards impersonating a Big Russian Soul.  So, I guess I should be quite happy.

What is a Big Russian Soul, you ask?  Well, here’s what the gurus at BigRussianSoul.org have to say:

As everyone knows, the Russian soul is no ordinary, workaday, quotidian soul. Heavens, no! Russia is a great land with a great and tragic history. Stretching from the most comical arctic wastes of Chukotiya to the balmiest Black Sea shores, from Lake Baikal (oldest, deepest, coldest) to the majestic streets of St. Petersburg — Russia is a land of superlatives, of unimaginable distances and life-threatening climactic extremes.

What’s more, there is the tragic-glorious history of the Russian people themselves: trampled by Tartars, marauded by Mongols, pummeled by Poles, lashed by Lithuanians, swatted by Swedes, challenged by Chechens, bullied by Bolsheviks…and, heck, that’s just for starters!!! Could such a country, such a history, produce an ordinary soul? The kind of soul an ordinary country produces? Of course, not. Such a country could only produce the Big Russian Soul.

So there you go.  Do you have a Big Russian Soul?

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7 Responses

  1. varske says:

    I think that quiz is rigged. As soon as you say you are not Russian, you get zero. I got 0 for soul and 3 matriozhki and the same answer as you. But then I answered yes for being Russian and gave the same answers. I got this reply:

    “You have lost touch, my friend. Although your soul stands clearly visible before me, I sense the foul stink of foreign influences. You must return to the earth.”

    Finally being Russian and answering “stereotypical Russian” answers I achieved:

    Your BRS earned 4 out of five troika matreshki.

    Your Russian Soul, while not huge, is respectable.
    I will allow you to drink with me, but only if you are buying.

    Having a Russian soul seems to imply the need to lie, especially for the last question.

  2. Andy says:

    And, thusly, the mystery at the heart of the Big Russian Soul endures…

  3. rebecca says:

    I got an elvis impersonator matreshki. What does that mean? Is it good?

    miss you. xxx

  4. Tim Newman says:

    Yeah, if I lie and claim I’m Russian, I get 3 out of 5.

  5. Andy says:

    Bec – it means you are the perfect woman for me!

  6. And says:

    I love that everyone tried to claim they were Russian… just to see if that made a difference!

    Yes, I admit it. I claimed I was Russian too.

  1. August 24, 2005

    BigRussianSoul Quiz

    BigRussianSoul Quiz